And how the hell all this mess started ?
I will tell You how!
Bible talks a lot about 1st 7 days of creation.....
but nobody knows or cares what happened afterwards....
here is the detailed account of the next 7 days.....
Sunday 11:00 am
Adam and Eve wake up, happy in the knowledge
that the creation project is nearly over. God,
this bloke God was really messing about and
making them do hard work! The worst thing about
it was the fact that everything kept changing,
new species kept appearing every minute... they
could hardly keep with the pace... in the morning
life is one Wunder Bra adventure - but by afternoon
God bloke puts some nasty creatures called "tigers",
poisonous snakes and so on... But all flora
is green from inside as well as outside, green
being a color which produces oxygen. Adam and
Eve are grateful to God for giving them something
to breath in and breath out Carbon Oxide as
a token of their appreciation and respect....
Sunday 16:00
Adam and Eve relax under the apple tree, breathing
Carbon Oxide out heavily after a narrow escape
from the Mammoth which tried to impale them
on its tusks...Their stress levels are going
through the roof - it has been only 7 days -
but every single day the dangers multiplied
themselves by factor of thousand. They were
brought into paradise and one week later they
have to fight for survival and their lives are
in danger every single minute...They are pissed
off and consider handing in their resignation....
Sunday 20:30
The snake breaks camel's back. Adam cannot cope
any more. The mental breakdown is eminent. He
snatches apple (which is green from inside as
well as outside at that point in time) and bites
it hard to relieve his frustration. He swallows
in anger. Sour, nasty, greenish taste seems
to calm his nerves. But he does not know that
apple has got magik qualities.... it is aphrodisiac......
Sunday 21:15
Adam pokes Eve
Sunday 21:16
The sin virus spreads through the world like
a bush fire - but with the speed of Concorde.....
Monday 10:47
48% of Earth's fauna and flora are already infected
by sin. There is no remedy. The virus continues
to multiply like mad rabbit.
Monday 19:05
87.6% of the God's creation are affected. Oh
boy - what a waste of time that was! It took
God 7 days to create the World - and it looks
like it took Adam only one day to destroy his
hard work. Did God knew what he was doing or
was he just messing about ? How come he did
not take into consideration that his own creation
can back fire on him? Or did he take this into
consideration and just did not care? Was God
a software engineer - building a house of cards
which can collapse with a single whisper of
a wind (or division by zero) ?
Tuesday 3:39 am
Carrots (which are green from inside and outside
at this point in time) go red out of embarrassment.
They will remain in that state forever......
Tuesday 11:30 am
94.6% of word's flora and fauna is affected
by Sin virus, which changes behavioral behavior
of its carriers. The very apples which started
all this mess are affected too: They decide
to be white inside but red or green from outside...
they rather enjoy this joke. Parrots (which
are green from inside and outside at this point
in time) decide that they want to have every
spectrum of light reflected in their feathers.....Kiwi
fruit is resistant to virus - it remains green
from inside as well as outside - but there is
talk that it was not because they weren't affected
- there is gossip going around that in fact
Kiwi's decided to be green throughout because
everybody else already used every single color
combination - they wanted to stand out in the
crowd - another common symptom of Sin virus.
Tuesday 14:78
The sin virus covered by now 100% of Earth's
surface and is currently digging in, embracing
the deeper and deeper layers of Earth's sphere....
Nothing can escape... Sin virus is aiming at
the Earth's core - nothing is left untouched..
stones, boiling lava, ocean beds..... they are
now all carriers......
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Adam pokes Eve to relieve his stress and frustration..
there is nothing else he can do... he might
as well be a part of the sinful world.....
Sunday
Adam rests. Eve rests too but discovers few
things about bananas.... They are yellow or
green on outside, but always white on inside....Cucumbers
are another discovery.... Eve realizes that
world is full of things which poke.... and the
second, more powerful wave of Sin virus embraces
World once again....Adam, being a man, logically
deducts that if world if full of things that
poke, it also must be full of things which can
be poked... the spiraling vicious circle has
been initiated...Sin has become our God and
creator...
And the bloke who created all this mess ?
Oh God! They did say "... and remember kids
- do not try it at home!".
Please
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| From: |
isolani | Subject: | 2001-02-11 13:55:57 |
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| From: |
Jesus Christ | Subject: | 2001-02-11 20:49:49 |
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| From: |
Iso | Subject: | 2001-02-13 12:30:16 |
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| From: |
Unabomber | Subject: | 2001-02-16 23:26:06 |
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| From: |
MadPole | Subject: | 2001-02-17 16:37:47 |
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| From: |
RantingFriendOfMadpole | Subject: | 2001-02-28 01:08:28 |
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| From: |
Serpent | Subject: | 2002-12-08 18:46:57 |
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