MadPole
Epilogue
MadPole:
I board a plane and for some strange reason
I am put in a Business Class. Just before the
take off the announcement comes: "Ladies and
Gentlemen, captain Andrzej Szymanski welcomes
You...". I laugh because I have never met another
"Szymanski" - never mind "Andrzej Szymanski"
in my entire life when I was in Poland. I go
to stewardesses and tell them that I am "Andrzej
Szymanski" as well.
When I sit down the guy opposite me approaches
me and says that he is "Andrzej Szymanski" as
well. I don't believe him and ask him to show
me his passport. He is not lying. 3 Andrzej
Szymanskis end up in captain's cockpit when
we are above Poland. This is so weird that my
brain does not even know what to think about
it. The plane is on "auto pilot" and so is my
brain. It entertains itself by looking at all
controls and handles which move on their own...There
are clouds, we can't see anything and plane
is flying on its own. I am familiar with a term
"automation" but seeing the physical handles
moving, the captain of the plane not even looking
at the controls and readings...computers scared
me to death for the first time in my life that
day!
[Classic MadPole:
Two Years Earlier...]
MadPole:
Dear Mrs. Auntie Agony,
You see, I have this peculiar problem but let
me introduce myself first of all. Secondly my
name is Andrew and I work in this office on
the first floor and I am in my thirties thirdly.
This office is in Coventry by the way, just
near A46/A1441 junction but I don't think you
need to know this. You see my name is Andrew
and there are 2 other Andrews on my floor, which
also happens to be my company. I mean I don't
own it, just work there really, well.. sort
of work there, drink a lot of coffee really,
and cigarettes, no good for you really, anyway,
this is beside the point. The problem I wanted
to share with you is that all the Andrews in
my office are called Andy. Well, no, this is
not really a problem, I mean there is nothing
wrong with calling people whose name is Andrew
Andy, is there?
The problem I am having is that I don't like
to be called Andy, well, this is not true in
fact and that is I think my problem. I mean
I used to hate being called Andy and I didn't
know why and I even wanted to see psychiatrist
about it but I never did. I mean I did see psychiatrist
on several occasions but that was for other
reasons and he never called me Andy so I got
confused. Mind You he never called me Andrew
either so maybe it was OK ?? Anyway, my problem
is that I don't know what to do next and I thought
that you being a major totty in the Agony business
might possibly give me some advice. You see,
I discovered lately something new about myself,
something new, something I never suspected myself
of. And I decided to come out in the open or
whatever politicians are calling it these days.
You see I think I do like being called Andy,
it is a new and wonderful experience, it is.
It's like soft for Andrew and it's like kind
of nice.
But I am not sure. Working on the first floor
does not help because I don't really have a
valid reason to use a lift. Mind you - lift
has got very little to do with my problem but
my company has got one so I thought I mention
it anyway. I mean, I don't know how those things
work, those brain thingies bobbies cells, psychiatrists
for example ask me all kinds of strange questions
like "Is there a history of mental illness in
your family?". I mean I don't know about mental
illness, aren't they supposed to know that ??
So I always answered them: "No, but we had a
dog called Toby" instead.
They always seemed very happy with this answer
but let's be honest - what poor dog can have
to do with mental state of my family ? Anyway,
that's why I mentioned a lift - so you don't
think I am mad or have this mental thing or
something.
So here is my problem. I don't know if I should
be called Andrew or Andy or something like Toby
perhaps and I also have this terrible headaches
which make me run around my house totally naked
and I don't like it because it is winter and
very cold and wet sometimes and anyway my neighbours
get a bit crossed as well.
What shall I do?
P.S. I did try cold showers but they are cold
and wet as well. Mind you there are a bit better
because at least it keeps neighbours from calling
police every night.
Geek's corner: MadPole
on the Web and Computers. This
page is a bit technical here and there. You
have been warned :o)
Add your comment to this page
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| From: |
MadPole | Subject: | 2004-04-15 06:48:04 |
| | | | |
| From: |
Geraldine | Subject: | 2004-04-15 17:46:54 |
| | | | |
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